sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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