Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
