they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?