I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cut my penus on the lid.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.