have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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