I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
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PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.