But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.