my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos