Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Those nachos came to me in a dream