i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
