I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
