We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize