that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
