Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
