I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im six kinds of drunk right now
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
