It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
