I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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