sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
