she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
