Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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