I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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