So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
