we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
