Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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