youre lurking in front of me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize