Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
