You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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