I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
