Plan B is the new Plan A
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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