And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
