she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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