Your tits are I can't wait for
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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