you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
