Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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