hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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