I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
