The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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