So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
