fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
