it was like his penis was on wheels.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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