whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
