Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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