I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
