Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
