worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
