I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
