yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
