my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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