ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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