I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
