Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
