Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
