Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
