What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
