you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize