508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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