Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
