That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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