giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
