I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
