just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize