You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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