I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
