Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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