Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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