ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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