just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize