I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
