in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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